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Self Contained Evil Squirrel Detection and Elimination Device (SCESDED Robot 2000)
Contains One Only (1) (SCESDED) Self Contained Evil Squirrel Detection and
Elimination Device Congratulations! You have become the owner of the highest tech squirrel sensor and eliminator of the millennium. Many celebrities, including Wiley E. Coyote, have used and endorse this product. Their personal endorsements are available upon request. Just a few simple steps and you are on your way to a more secure relaxed environment. 1). Remove SCESDED Robot (hereafter referred to as Mr. SCESDED) carefully from shipping container, box and Styrofoam packing. I said "CAREFULLY!" That gun is loaded! 2). Remove Phillips head screw from battery compartment on robot backpack, and insert batteries with flat ends of batteries against springs. 3). Replace battery cover and screw. 4). Carefully bend gun arm at the elbow and raise into firing position. I said "CAREFULLY!" That gun is loaded! Leave other arm at side. (Extended arms tend to make Mr. SCESDED robot tipsy.) 5). Remove pets to remote secure area. Hey, Mr. SCESDED doesn't know what you want protected from yet! Give him a break. 6). Place Mr. SCESDED on the floor. This is very important since Mr. SCESDED does not yet know that he can neither fly nor walk on air, and you will not be able to hold on to him. CAREFULLY! That gun is loaded! 7). Carefully slide switch on back of Mr.
SCESDED's neck to the "ON" position. I
said "CAREFULLY!" That gun is loaded! Mr. SCESDED will immediately do a 360-degree scan of the area, ordering all varmints to "Drop your weapons," and firing upon those that do not immediately comply! Mr. SCESDED will then advance to other areas eliminating all varmints in your space without further action on your part. Congratulations! Your premises are now secure from all predators except for divorce lawyers that seem to prey upon people that believe in Mr. SCESDED's powers.
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